Grasping the silence

It's been quiet here, I know. Sometimes when I stop communicating here it is hard for me to begin again. It's like being out to dinner with someone and suddenly a large pause falls on the conversation. It can be quite difficult to start it back up with finesse.

Then I remember to just start talking.

I have been talking to many strangers in the last month. When I meet new people, I think I seem at ease. Making conversation comes easily to me. Later though, I feel exhausted from the effort of being "on." I've been switched into the on position quite a bit this month. I suppose I needed to switch off somewhere and this is where it happened.

The other night I was in bed by 7 pm, exhausted, writing to my pen pal and flipped open the book I was using to prop up my pad. Turning to a random page in Fabulous Friendship Festival by SARK, I found a passage that seemed apt for the topic I was writing to Shannon about at the moment. The next passage seemed right for my blog lag.

She writes about the concept of catching up with friends. She says just the thought of it seems like so much work and she'd rather not. "I propose we drop this phrase and concept, and just realize that if we communicate with our friend, we'll just naturally find out how they are and what's been going on with them. I'm going to release myself from any pressure to "catch up"... Also, "catching up" implies that we have fallen behind somehow and I don't believe time is that linear ... What we or are friends have been doing in the time we didn't communicate is less important than our being or our essence, and that you can only discover through being present with a friend."

Releasing myself from catching up on the details of my month and reading all my bloglines feeds is the only thing that is allowing me to move forward now.

Whew.

Hello? How are you? I've missed you.

I do hope you've all been enjoying your summers ( or winters for my beloved Aussies and Kiwis.) I've been thinking of writing one of those quintessential back to school  what I did on my summer vacation essays. Perhaps I can fill in some blanks on the void there.

The biggest thing to report is that I started a full time job last week. The nonprofit agency that runs the culinary school I attended is opening a cafe soon and I've been hired to be the manager/chef. I've been very involved in every aspect of creating the cafe from the paint colors, the light fixtures, the menu planning, marketing and more. As we get closer to opening I will fill you in on the details. I am a combination of beyond thrilled and scared shitless over getting this job. There is so much of my description of a dream job wrapped up in this - seasonal menu, locally sourced food, communal tables, a kitchen garden, providing great food to everyone with no distinction for their finances, possibilities for education components and community building, an employer committed to food justice. And yet it's all very daunting as well because this will be my little baby and I'm not sure I'm quite ready to give birth to this thing but I've started to push and it looks like it is going to be a living, breathing entity very shortly. So wish me luck on that. And if you are in central NJ, I hope you'll come by for lunch once we get cooking.

Comments

[The Shopping Sherpa]

I'm so excited for you!

If it's any help when I worked in recruiting I always told people I placed into jobs that a new job is like the "you'll grow into it" jumpers your Mum used to make you wear when you were a kid: far too large for you at first but very comfortable eventually.

If, in the first three months of your new job, you don't a) want to cry and b) believe they chose the wrong person for the job you'll outgrow the job before you get a chance to sink your teeth into it...

:-)

[c.m. jackson]

congratulations--sounds like the perfect job and place--I would love to stop by for lunch when I am in the area--

[nicole]

*WAVES* Hi!!! Congrats on the awesome new job. (.)(.)

[Madness]

I just stopped by to say hi too. Congrats on the job! It sounds great.

[m. heart]

This sounds exciting! Congrats!