The time has come

Please accept my most heartfelt thanks for those of you who took the time to email and leave comments here in the last week or so. All of your attempts to console me or cheer me up did make a difference to me, even if it was sometimes fleeting.

Sweets, Cyndemouse and I visited with Aunt Dodi on Sunday afternoon. Cynde and I took turns telling her what was coming in our gardens with the spring weather.  We described Cynde's highly anticipated tiger lilies in great detail hoping Dodi would be able to conjure up an image of a gang of happy orange freckled faces lifting their heads to the sun. She was quite weak. Just last week she would tightly grasp my hand as I spoke to her. This time she could barely squeeze me. Burning with fever, we cooled her forehead with a cool cloth.

When it was time for us to leave I squeezed her hand and leaned in to tell  her "I'm going to tell you what you've always told me, Dodi. Goodbye for now. I love you." Then we all stood at the foot of her bed calling out "Goodbye, Dodi. Goodbye."

She passed on Monday evening. Which coincidentally was the two year anniversary of her sister, My Grams', funeral. I had a feeling that something like this would happen.

Yesterday, I spent the better part of the day waiting around for the phone to ring while making the necessary arrangements. Then a short time at a funeral home signing papers. Followed by a trip to the nursing home to collect her things to find they'd already boxed them up and had them stored away already. It wasn't until someone there gave me a hug that the tears began to come. I went down to her room. Every trace of her was gone. Her plants moved from the windowsill to the top of her roommate's television in the darkest corner of the room. I took her two little plants, clutched them to my chest and left. On the way to the car, I thought that now I fully understand Matilda in the film, The Professional, carrying around that plant with her. I'll take care of her plants the best I can.

Part of the arranging of her affairs involves scattering her ashes off of Block Island, RI. I've never been there. Once it gets a bit warmer, probably during her birthday month of may, there will be a road trip to see her off in style. She'd prepaid for an airplane to scatter her off the Block Island shore. I'll be there to wave and cheer for her as she lands on her final destination.

Comments

[kristen]

my deepest condolensces to you dear rachel. i'm glad you got to say goodbye and i'm really glad that she heard of your spring garden plans - i know her heart sang as she listened to you and your girl cynde.

block island is spectacular, what a lovely place to have ashes scattered.

much love. (((rachel))). xo

[PixieDust]

My thoughts are with you... no words... just a (((HUG)))...

Love to you and your aunt.

[caroline]

Oh, bless her... She must have had such a peaceful passing, feeling loved. Hugging you tight, wishing you peace to cry. xoxo

[m. heart]

oh dear, i'm so very sorry for your loss. i'm glad you had the chance to say goodbye.

[Carmen]

hugs to you dear Rachel...

[Jeanette]

so sorry to hear of Dodi's passing,but how lovely & lucky that you could support & honor her life all the way.

[Jp]

<3 U <3 U <3 U <3 U <3 U <3 U <3 U <3 U <3 U
xxooxxooxxooxxooxxooxxooxxooxxooxxooxxooxxoo
I'm sure that won't ease everything, but I hope it's a start. I am grateful to have meet and known Doti, and it your great achievement to have able to give the love & care that honored her life.

[gkgirl]

i am sorry for your loss...